Thursday, June 21, 2007

today was...

so emotional! It wasn't too hard physically, but I'm telling you, by noon, my emotional roller coaster had gone round and round the starting gate so many times I was dizzy!

Do you ever just hug your kids and hold them and squeeze them and love them so so so much that you never want to let them go? Have you ever just held them and welled up with tears for no darn good reason? Do you take the time to just hold their little faces in your hands and say "I love you" and know that they know that you mean it?

I think I must have burst into tears at least a dozen times today for various reasons. I held it all in pretty good over the last 6 days, but now that we're all home and feeling better, I think that my emotional vault just went Whooooooosh!!!! and let out a flood of everything I'd been controlling for the past week. I'm just so in love with my family. I'm so absolutely smitten with them and their sweet smiles and comments and hugs and looks. I just can't possibly imagine going on in life without one of them. I can't tell you how grateful I am that we all left that scene alive. I can't tell you how many prayers I've prayed, pleading for Heavenly Father's help and then thanking him once we get it! I'm so grateful for the comfort and blessings I received that helped me get through this and keep a level head on my shoulders for my family...for all those billion things you have to do and think of and prepare for in a situation like this.

I'm grateful for Heavenly Father's mercy in allowing us to come home from the hospital without anything more severe than a dozen stitches among us. No major broken bones, no brain damage, nothing lasting. Just some haunting memories. And no joke aside, one or more of my kids may need a bit of therapy from this whole escapade. I think I may need it too!

I need to appreciate them more, my kids. I need to tell them more and wrap my arms around them more and hug them for no reason more and be the best Mommy I can possibly be. Just typing this I'm crying...makes me want to sneak into their room and give them ooshy smooshy hugs and loves. I'm glad we'll all live another day to experience that.

11 comments:

Delfina said...

Wow girl that was very touching I was crying reading it. I so happy that all of you are home safe and sound. You xoxo your kids as much as you need to and keep telling them how much you love them. Things will get better emotionally for all of you. Keep praying for the strenght to get past the huanted memories. luv ya lots, Del

LIZZEE said...

Amie you are a great Mother you see the love everyday. This is gonna be etched in your memories and heart You may never be over it This was very tramatic for all of you. You can cry everyday I'm sure you had to be strong but there comes that point where you need that breakdown. Glad everyone is fine and at home.

Angel W said...

Your strength is amazing and you've obviously seen that peace that passes all understanding. God is so good.

Anonymous said...

Amie, you are AMAZING! Sometimes it is good just to CRY! Take care, Tammi

Casey Lu said...

Touching! You are a wonderful mother and a wonderful person! It is good to cry at times and appreciate what you have been blessed with. The Lord knows your heart and has rewarded you imeasurably! You have great strength and will see it through! Still keeping you all in my families prayers!!! Love ya girl!

Heidi said...

Great - I'm reading this on a hormonally high day anyway - so you got me going! Thanks for the reminder - I've got an hour to myself - so I'm reading your blog & having no one to go and hug! And I know by the time they get here, that moment will be lost - and replaced with "stop hitting your sister" "No candy before dinner" and my personal favorite "take that diaper OFF your head and put it back ONTO your sister" okay - not really - but thanks for the reminder!

Amy said...

Amie, I haven't checked your blog in a bit and I am so sorry about the accident! I can only imagine how hard this must have been for your family. How very blessed you are, this could have been so much worse! Take care!

I'm going to go hug my kids!

Amie said...

There is a little girl in hospital that used to live in Nyngan and she is in an induced coma and has been for the last 68 days I just look at my girls and I am glad they are here with me and healthy.... The accident would have definatley reinforced that feeling.

Did I just make sense....

Pen-nut said...

I am so glad that you are all home now and doing well. Let yourself cry now, you don't have to be strong any more. Heavenly Father is watching over your little family. Take care - Hug your boys a few more times and take some time to rest. Love ya - Penny

jodene said...

Still holding you all in our prayers. Hope thing get better for you and your family

The Bluths said...

Today was my first chance to get on your blog. I had heard what happened from Jenna and I looked at all the picasa pictures. I have been in Utah for my Grandpa's funeral. I'm so glad you guys are okay. Tough week. Keep everyone updated like I know you will!