remembering grandma

Several of you know that I have a dear Grandma, my last living grandparent, who has been struggling the last few years. She went from being semi-independent in her own home to being very dependent on my parents, still in her home to finally going to a nursing home and eventually a rehab and hospice center. She struggled with lots of ailments over the past several years, from failing eyesight to weak muscles which led to dozens of injurious falls, budding alzheimers and all sorts of other conditions that come with old age. I think in the end, she just felt that her time here was up, and that she was ready to pass into the next life and be with her eternal companion who left her over 15 years ago.

She finally passed early yesterday morning.

With it comes relief that she's out of any pain and suffering and relief for my parents (and others) who have been caring for her for the past several years.

I spoke to her last week right after she'd been put on Hospice for the third time (she was a tough old bird...we often laughed that she'd outlive all of us!). I'm not positive she knew who I was, but our conversation went pretty well with only a few 'off' comments here and there. I had inquired if she remembered certain things and she remarked "Oh honey, my memory isn't very good any more, but I'm going to get that back, real soon." Later, I asked if she read or watched TV to pass the time to which she answered "no honey, my eyesight isn't very good right now, but I'm going to get that back, real soon."

I couldn't help but wonder if the veil was a little thinner this last week of her life and that she knew this earthly life with a failing mortal body was just about over, and that she'd soon receive her perfected body in the next life. Or there's always the possibility that she was in another time and place and didn't realize what was going on. I like to think that she knew exactly what was in store for her.

Things I remember about Grandma:

Staying at her house on occasional Christmas holidays and sleeping on the hide-a-bed in the living room.

Receiving all varieties of life savers from her and Grandpa Christmas morning.

Her glass dishes always filled with m&ms.

Her stuffed animal doggy that she kept at the foot of the couches, that she liked to call her 'guard dog'

Her reading me "One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish", either in person when we were there to visit, or on audio tapes that we sometimes exchanged when we were kids.

Her boxes and boxes of Harlequin romance novels.

That when we left her home from a vacation, she would stand out on her sidewalk and wave as we drove off, and continued to wave until our car was out of sight.

The shadow box in her living room that contained little pictures and things: she would hold us up and run thru each object, almost as a ritual, saying it as fast as she could as we giggled and giggled.

That when she laughed she would always cry.

That she loved having her feet massaged--she'd put on socks and we'd sit at her feet and tug and pull and massage...she loved it.

The little animals outside her Utah home that she loved to feed, and was always so concerned about.



This picture is from December 06 when my kids saw her last. She liked the kids to call her GG. We'll miss her, but we know she's in a better place.