Friday, August 20, 2010

an aside from leapin' lizard larry

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Yo. 

'Sup?

Not much here. . .just hangin' with my boy.

He rescued me when I got stuck trying to crawl underneath your back door.  I realize that could have been somewhat of a disaster, being that he was yankin' on my tail, and I was worried that. . .well, it could have just come off you know.  We lizards are crazy funky cool like dat.

'Course, I wouldn't have been trying to dart underneath your back door if the boys hadn't been chasing me all over the patio.  But you know what?  I got a glimpse of your kitchen and I have to say Mrs. H. . . the Americana theme you got going on?  Dated.  And seriously, how long has it been since you cleaned the tops of your ceiling fans?  I could see the dust from way down in the cracks of your doorframe.  And brass fixtures?  Oh dear.

And wallpaper?  Really?  Does this look like 1987?  You really must do something about that.  But hey, it's cool.  You got your pad, I got mine.  Mine's a deep dark hole out by your garden but, you know, if patriotic hearts and stars do it for ya then *shrug* who am I to judge?

I eat bugs.

My faves are those little roly polys that come around here ever so often, but the crickets provide a particular challenge.  And feast!

You have noticed you haven't had any crickets chirping around your house in a while right?  Yep.  You're welcome.

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So anyway, back to these boys who chased me around the patio.  They're a bit crazy you know?  But it's cool. . . once they caught me, one of 'em immediately wanted to put me in a box and bring me into the house.  I'da been fine with that, but-hey, you don't have wallpaper everywhere in your house do you?  Cuz a guy's got taste.    I'm not sayin' my diggs are top-notch but, umm, I got standards and a rep to protect.

Ya feel me?

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So, umm, can you tell the large one to let me go so I can get back to my bidness?  Stuff to do, bugs to chase, cats to tease.  You ever get rid of that 1980's kitchen and we'll talk.  Though frankly, I've seen worse.  At least you don't have that ol'  geese and duck theme going on.  *shudder*

Peace out.

6 comments:

Christine #2 said...

Nice! I think your cousins are hanging around my front door. They know better than to come in because in my house they would wind up in a dress and being a little girl's baby doll for awhile.

Anonymous said...

Wait I saw a trailer for this movie! It's called Rango and will star your favorite wacky actor......

B

leaner said...

This kind of post if why I read your blog. You are hilarious and I would totally hangout with you if we lived closer.
You are awesome.
Thanks for the giggle. (And where are pics of this "1980s kitchen" I would love to see that.)

Amanda said...

Your boys can come over to my house and catch these things any time! We have TONS of them hanging out by the front & back doors. I actually have anxiety just taking out my trash because they get into the house all the time.

One time I quickly opened & closed the door to take out the trash. Little did I know that one had tried to get in at the top of the door frame and I had sliced it in half with the closing. When I opened the door to come back in the house, HALF of the thing fell right on my arm! I FREADKED OUT!!

Ya, I HATE those things!

Jennifer ♥ said...

I've never met a talking lizzard - coooool!! He does have a bit of a 'tude though :)

jinxi~ aka angi said...

hahaha I agree with Jennifer! haha
Cuteness though!