Monday, November 11, 2013

life actually

Life is sure moving fast.  It seems the weekend is here every week before I blink.

I have nothing interesting, deep, philosophical, or particularly newsworthy to report.  I just want to say that I'm happy, even though life is racing by.  I love my friends.  :)  We've taken to doing couples date night every other week and it's been good for my soul to realize there's life outside my home and the hospital.  It's good for my relationship with Danny and it's good to share it with good people who we love so much.  I wish we had more opportunity to spend time with our family out of town...our schedules right now are seriously nuts.  Any time Dan and I share a day off it is a total gift!  The idea of days or weeks off together is completely inconceivable at this point.  He has clinicals every Friday/Saturday through December, and that's just something we have to deal with.

My kids are a mix of everything I've ever wanted and everything I'm afraid getting.  :)  They are typical kids.  They are learning and changing and making mistakes and growing and doing everything they ought to.  I worry for them and pray for them.  They are amazing and so different.  Each of them an individual person in his own right with thoughts and feelings and talents and gifts.

My school.  ...............................................................................................................................
I'm so tired of it.  I was so looking forward to this Spirituality in Healthcare class.  But it's turned out to be a giant pain in the butt.  The professor treats us as if we were doctoral students and requires so much more of us than any previous professor has.  I'm currently getting a 91% which is by far the lowest grade I've gotten in a class.  (Prior to this I think my lowest was 95% although most of them end up at 98 or so).  It doesn't matter.  It's useless.  Brainless.  I am learning nothing.  I am paying for my BSN, literally and figuratively, learning nothing about nursing in the process.  It's busy work and ridiculous.  Four more classes after this one.  I long for that time!

My work.  I love it.  I mean, most days.  I love my patients, although some days seriously kick my tail.  I just passed 6 months which blew by in a blip, I tell you. I considered moving around, applying for OB positions, but not only are there NONE available at my hospital right now, but those openings at other hospitals require 1 year experience, so I think I will need to wait until next May.  It's ok.  It's going by really fast.  I still can't believe I'm doing this.  That in 2008 I decided:  I'm going to be a nurse, and now I am.  I wish I'd figured it out long ago, although schedule-wise, it just wouldn't have worked out if the kids were any younger.  But I'm envious of those 22-year olds who I work with who are just starting out...I wish I'd done so way back then.

My ward.  Well...I'm sure I will love them, some day.  It still tugs at my heart that we have left 2nd ward.  I seriously felt so at home there, and I am very very far from feeling that now.  I know a hand-ful of people, and they are very pleasant and welcoming.  But it's been very hard to meet people since I work every other Sunday.  On those off Sundays, we've experienced Stake Conference, General Conference, and were camping once, so even though we've lived here 3 months now, I've really only been there a handful of times.  I have visiting teachers who are great, but I have not been given a visiting teaching assignment, nor a calling.  Same goes for Danny.  The ward is huge...secretly, I hope it is split soon, because that will mean that fewer people that I need to get to know.  :)

My kids, however, particularly Sean, have made lots of friends.  I'm so happy for Sean, specifically--he was the one I was most worried about, and he is the one who has acclimated the best.  He has people he texts and hangs out with, went to the movies last Friday night with some and the stake dance the next night with another.  He hangs out with a group at school and really fits in.  It makes my heart happy.

On the note of friends, I've lost a few in the last few years and that makes me sad.  Not really sure how or why it happens, but it does as we grow older, move, have fewer things in common, fewer circles shared.  It doesn't mean I think of them any less, or any less fondly.  I still want the best for them and wish I could keep up with all they do and the growing of families, etc.  Such is life, I suppose.  We'll always have memories.  :)

Been to the temple a couple of times in the last few weeks and love the new movie.  It makes me smile.  It makes me want to be a better person every time I attend.  Then I come home to a messy house or fingerprints or failed homework and I'm back to being a neurotic mom and housekeeper.  (Seriously, why can we not use doorknobs in this house?!  Why always the walls and doors?!)  Anyway, looking forward to the two new temples being built here in the valley.  More chance and opportunity to become a better person, more reminders to forgive and seek forgiveness, and more spiritual experiences to be had.

OK, so I did have a lot to say.  I have tons of pictures, but they're all on my iphone.  My house is not really any different than it was 3 months ago.  We are doing things little by little, but the budget has gone mostly to the backyard and so the inside is still design-less.  :)  We'll get there.

Someone come visit us!  :)

1 comment:

Lorie said...

So much going on!! I just read through some of your old posts about the new house! So fun! And how fun about the new pool! Nice for AZ weather to stay warm enough to let you enjoy it for a while!