let's call it post partum, just 4.5 years later

Dear Diary,

My dear friend CC is having her first baby in about a month and a half. As soon as we discovered she was indeed pregnant and then even better, that she was pregnant with a boy, I knew why I'd been holding on to all my baby clothes all these years. To give them to this new little angel from heaven. Tonight as I was going through my Newborn box of clothes, waves of nostalgia tsunamied (it's a word, look it up) over me and I was hit with a ton of memories of shiny new babies in onesies, sweet silent midnight feedings with pajama clad newborns, little Winnie the Pooh mobiles, homemade burp rags, first smiles, first rolls, first teeth, and first steps.

I couldn't help it. The remembering. And. I. Bawled. Like. A. Baby.

I kid you not: tears streaming down my face, sobbing, with each piece of clothing I pulled out and held to my chest to smell and relive and experience that joy one more time and at the same time, so glad my husband was no where near to make fun of me or misunderstand that no, it's not that I want another baby; it's just that I remember so well. I remember those precious first hours and days and weeks. And I remember all the good moments, you know? It's so true what they say. Time goes so fast and then they're losing those first teeth, ripping holes in jeans, going off to cubscouts and T-ball and asking you about where babies come from.

I am so happy to share my well-used well-loved well-lived-in clothing and memories with Christine and baby Caden. And I've told her that I reserve the right to love on him at will any time he's wearing any of our hand-me-downs. That will give me all the therapy I'll ever need.