Monday, April 6, 2009

dear body: an apology letter

Dear body,

I am sorry for what I put you through last week.

Namely, the 125 "Good Morning" hamstring exercises with 25 lbs of weight that at the time, seemed completely doable and did not hurt too badly.

I am sorry that the following day, and every day since, your hamstrings have been so tight, that you have not been able to completely stretch out your legs without immense amounts of leg pain.

I apologize that the simple task of bending over the dishwasher to empty it, is no longer possible.  Also in this category are the following:  shaving with straight legs, running, bending over to tie shoes, picking up laundry from the floor, squatting in any form, and so much more.

And I am sorry that you can no longer keep up with your 4 year old son.  Even when you're really all out trying.

Sometimes, I forget, that you are thirty-three year old body, and that you need to take things in stride, a bit easier at first, and with a good dose of before and after stretching.

I forget that just because Jesika Gardner can do 150 of these in her sleep, I think that you can. 

I ask forgiveness for the decrepit state you are in, and promise next time, to consider this past week of pain as a standard in which I never again want to return.

Please take these Tylenol with Codeine with my apologies-pills I have had lying around for nearly 5 years since my C-section with Ethan circa April 2004.  {Are these even any good any more?}

If those do not work, please relax, eat these newly baked, fresh and warm chocolate chip cookies, and consume them, enjoying each and every deserved calorie.

Body, I hope you will accept my humblest and deepest of apologies and some day return me to my former state of being able to straighten my legs and touch my toes.

Sincerely,

Amie

PS:  CrossFit, you are the devil.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Crossfit, get thee hence!!!
Wait, what the crap am I doing up at this time of night???

B

RSS said...

Body to Amie:


REQUEST DENIED



:-)

Christine #2 said...

Mmmm...cookies

Natalie said...

OOH poor body. Hope you are better soon.
I love the pageant pictures. Someday maybe we can go.
Dh and I are serving a mission in the Belgium/Brussels Netherlands Mission which includes northern France. We live in Mouscron, Belgium, but we work mostly in France. We are setting up an outreach center for young adults according to a revelation that Elder L Tom Perry had. It is great to be working with the youth here in France.
Your boys are very handsome!

Jennifer (jkincolorado) said...

Hilarious!! I hope your body forgives you - warm, chocolate chip cookies are the best medicine :)

Jennifer (jkincolorado) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lorie said...

Been there done that! I hope you get the use of your legs back soon!

Christine said...

Dear Amie's body - be nice to her, she rocks! You need big doses of scrapping with girlfriends and Twilight talk => Call me I'm there!

jinxi~ aka angi said...

Holy moly.. your body was really mad at you.. hope its better now!

Torrie said...

What a cleaver way to express your feelings and the cookies should definately help with the apologies.

Jesika said...

Ah!! Not quite! lol I wish I could.....My hamstrings are STILL tight! Dumb crossfit.....